Zenophobia

The problem with Enlightenment is… it sucks.

Conventional Eastern philosophy tells us that the way to Enlightenment is to give up our attachment to just about everything. Even an attachment to finding Enlightenment is to be left behind – but that’s really only in the pre-Buddhahood stages.

I once read about a guy in India or Tibet or somewhere who just sits on a streetcorner doing nothing. He doesn’t beg for food or clothes or money, he just parks off observing the foliage of his understanding.

As I mentioned, he doesn’t beg, but passers-by give him food and maybe a blanket and he gets by.

Of course in the Western world he’d be deemed a bergie, bum or tramp, and the vast majority would cross the street or at least grumble something about how disgusting he is and how he should get a job. If you bothered to ask and he happened to confide that he was on a spiritual journey of meaning and purpose you’d probably figure it was some new angle to get a fiver of your hard earned stuffs and either walk on or reward him for his creativity.

In his short story, ‘The Nightmare Box’, Chuck Palahniuk writes about a machine that, when one looks into it, shows them what the way the world really is. This, of course, destroys them completely; and causes them to abandon every dream or aspiration they once had.

If Enlightenment means having to get rid of your car and house and all the nice things you’ve collected over the years then maybe it’s not for everyone. I mean, how would I get by without political commentary and the Kardashians? If I don’t have a TV how can I watch the Super 14?

This is all important stuff! Far more meaningful than love, peace and understanding.

And it’s easy being all those things when you live in a mountaintop monastery. You don’t have to put up with bad drivers, rude waiters, and standing in bank queues. Send the Dalai Lama to work in Long Street for a week – he’ll soon be beating up streetkids and knocking back a double whiskey just to get by.

So maybe this Enlightenment racket is better left to those who already don’t have electricity, running water, and a Ben 10 toy with every KFC Chicky Meal.

It’s a lot harder when you’ve still got the memories of heated blankets and Heat magazine.