Upon reading that the Locnville boys had been pepper-sprayed and beaten up by the police, my thoughts immediately ran to spaghetti bolognaise.
If my mum had a signature dish, it would without a doubt be ‘spagbol’. She’d make it for us at least once a week, and in such large quantity there were two days’ worth of lunchtime leftovers.
By the time I left home I must have eaten easily more than a thousand plates of tomato-ey mincemeat on top of Fatti’s & Moni’s pasta.
When I first started getting irritated by seeing the Locnville girly-boys every week in the esteemed Heat magazine (SA’s only weekly glossy!), I reminded myself that just because they were young, popular and airbrushed didn’t mean their music was plastic trash headed for the dustbin faster than a soiled Durex.
Don’t judge a book by its cover, I thought, and YouTube a couple of their hits.
The first one I came across I’d heard before on a Supersport commercial. It was fairly catchy, and had on occasion unconsciously flared up in my head like a mild case of Athlete’s Testicle.
The next few songs I uploaded were much the same as mum’s consistent cuisine – the same old recipe, but warmed up in the microwave and slopped on a plate.
But unlike Locnville, mum’s bolognaise wasn’t a mere flash-in-the-pan – enjoyed today and stinking up the bathroom tomorrow – but a regular performer in the gastronomic playlist of our youth.
Unfortunately no one filmed the Loc/SAPS mash-up, so those particular hits won’t wind up on YouTube, but with the twins’ popularity possibly waning and their following of fans (groin-achingly named ‘villens’) growing up and moving along to real music, one has to imagine that it all might be a publicity stunt.
It’s marketing brilliance, really.
Locnville’s fanbase must have aged and now be old enough to stay up past eight and watch the evening news, therefore being exposed to current issues like xenophobia and police brutality. And what better way for the boys to get in on their fans’ newfound social awareness by getting punched in the face by cops.
The fact that it got on the front page of the respected Cape Argus shows just how far the paper has sunk in terms of sensationalism and spectacle, and I’m afraid that upon receiving my next subscription form I will have to go for the lifetime renewal.
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