Robert Mugabe Joke Day

Talk about thin-skinned! A 52-year-old man in Zimbabwe has to stand trial for telling a joke about despotic prez Robert Mugabe, News24 reports.

So in solidarity with office clowns across Africa, I hereby declare today ‘Mad Bob Bad Joke Day’, and to kick it off here’s one my dad told me back when he still walked this bizarre mudball we call home (I mean Earth, not South Africa).

Poor Bob Mugabe dies and the bus drops him off, suitcases in hand, outside the Pearly Gates of Heaven. He steps through the Gates and when he approaches Saint Peter looks down the long guest list, “I’m sorry, Mr Mugabe, but your name’s not here.”

Peter picks up the phone and calls the front desk at Hell. He’s on that list, and Satan says he’ll send two demons to pick him up.

Bob arrives in Hell to a warm reception. “Mr Mugabe,” says an elated Lucifer, “we’ve got your room ready. Just grab your bags and follow me.”

But, oops, Bob’s gone and forgotten his suitcases.

“No worries,” says Lu, “I’ll send some cronies to get them.” He clicks his fingers and two little demons appear, “Go get Mr Mugabe’s bags, will you.”

The demons salute and rush off back to the Pearly Gates. But when they get there the Gates are locked tight. They peer in and see Bob’s bags on the other side.

“Oh shit,” says the first demon, “what are we gonna do now?”

The second demon has a plan. He lifts his colleague onto his shoulders and tells him to climb on top of the wall. Then the first demon pulls the second up and they jump down to get the bags.

Meanwhile, Peter and the Archangel Gabriel are on their lunch hour having tea and sandwiches in the Peter’s office.

Saint Peter looks out the window and sees two demons standing next to a pair of suitcases. “For fudge’s sake!” exclaims Peter angrily.

“What’s up?” asks Gabriel.

Peter slams his teacup down and says, “That bloody Mugabe hasn’t been in Hell for five minutes and already we’ve got refugees!”

Drum roll, please. Thanks folks, I’ll be here all week. Be sure to tip your waitress.