End of Part One

The last thing you think, on the eve of immigration, as you stare down at your exactly 23kg stuffed suitcase is: Have I packed enough socks?

Of course, the first thing any Capetonian asks upon hearing of your imminent flight is, “You’re not stopping in Joburg, are you?” As their lips form these words a look of absolute angst will cross their face and their next sentence is always, “Because then you can kiss your luggage goodbye.”

It seems to be the one thing we all have in common, because if you believe Julius Malema then “all whites are criminals” for pinching the property long ago, and if you ask any Constantia housewife she’ll tell you that “THEY all steal!” with such certainty because she once secretly looked in her domestic worker’s coat pockets and saw some if the Lipton rooibos teabags saved especially for guests.

Whenever I hear the term ‘they’ in a South African context I can’t help but raise my eyebrows and ask, “But what would the Illuminati want with your teabags?”

After telling this same housewife you’re moving to the UK they then ask probably the most used travel cliché in South Africa, “But what about the cold weather?”

“Well,” I always reply, “it’d be nice to have something to complain about other than crime, government corruption, and the lack of Burger King.” I told Lucy if she ever hears me moan about the weather to just ask me who Julius Malema is.

In short, there’s more to life than the weather.

But after packing and repacking and weighing our luggage for the umpteenth time it looks like everything’s fine. Today, our last day in South Africa, we’re just pottering around the house, stuffing some sentimental nick-nacks in our carry-ons.

Last Wednesday my mum, brother and I buried my father’s ashes beneath a tree at Rhodes Memorial my mum and him used to picnic under. Mum said it was fitting that, after holding on selfishly to his remains for six years, we buried them just before I left.

It gave us all a magnificent feeling of closure, as well as wet faces, and mum remarked that it was such an exciting new chapter in my life. It all felt like the end of a movie, and in my mind it was less the beginning of a new chapter and more like a sequel.

But unlike most sequels, this one is bound to be as good as the original.