It’s a sad fact of life that as we get older things start to fall apart. Our vision deteriorates, our bones become brittle and prone to breakage, and we begin to get even more annoyed with the banal topics the youth choose to converse in.
Our brain takes a hit too.
At 73 years of age most of us, caught in the wrinkly grip of senility, would possibly start something like misplacing our false teeth, forgetting what happened on yesterday morning’s episode of Antiques Roadshow, or wearing our undies over our trousers.
Not the Man of Steel, though!
After three score and ten, Superman still has his x-ray and heat vision, bounces nuclear warheads off his chest, and keeps up with the hip lingo of teenagers.
And after seven decades of heroics, the Last Kryptonian is finally losing his oft-ridiculed red jocks and just wearing normal skin tight spandex like the rest of us. From now on he’ll fight crime in a bright blue one-sy, red Wellies and matching beachtowel.
As the longest-running comic book title – over 900 issues – it’s amazing he got away with it for so long. You’d think that a good friend like Batman or Wonder Woman would have given him a heads-up.
And the old costume must have been a bit tatty by now, and probably getting that musky smell of Oxfam shops and old age homes.
Or maybe age is taking its toll, and while many OAPs would get as far as their Calvin Kleins and forget the rest, Kal-El was thinking ahead in his youth to escape future embarrassing situations.
Who knows?
You can be sure, however, that Warner Bros execs have got dollar signs rolling where eyeballs should be – with the obligatory cash register noise ringing in their ears.
Maybe, just maybe, they can now make a movie starring the geriatric alien in which he doesn’t look like an invulnerable tool.
Because we really don’t care about his morals and righteousness, it’s his clothes that count. It’s true what they say: An ounce of appearance is worth a pound of substance.
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